Failure is a part of daring greatly. And don't get me wrong failure sucks, but it actually does get easier. You learn to not take it personally, you learn how to Rise Strong and recognize where you might have shame that needs an antidote.
Here are some of my failures in 2016 and what I learned:
Daring: Spending time and effort and things not working out.
Discovery: Nothing is ever wasted, all will be used.
I tried to have two Rising Strong™ Groups in 2016 and neither one made the minimum number needed to have a beneficial group experience. I guess it was I who needed to practice the Rising Strong™ process. I have had things not work out before, and discovered it was because I was actually fearful of having them happen and creating some of that outcome. But I knew in these situations that was not the case and I was giving it my all. It’s hard because you have to tell people who were going to do the group that it didn’t make the minimum, and then you worry they will think poorly of you. Also people ask about it, as you advertised it and they care about what you are doing, and then you have to tell them it didn’t make. But I have learned this year to trust and make the best of the way things work out. Because I had the time blocked off expecting the second group to happen, when it didn’t, I had the opportunity to attend an awesome 6-week art and yoga class that was at the exact same time. I know that class was important for me on my path, and I can't wait to see all the fruit that develops from it, so I am so thankful that I tried to have another Rising Strong™ Group.
Also, I learned sometimes what you think is a failure and will never be used, was just waiting to be used in a different way. Last year I wanted to start a Daring Couples series with my colleague and it also didn't make the minimum (this was the example I was referring to above that I think my fear did contribute to me not really wanting it to make). But I had bought all the supplies and done all the prep. I just stored it and really had let it go. Then this year, the Pastor of Ecclesia shared an idea he had for a marriage conference and I got to be a part of it. It happened that my exercise would be a great fit with his plans and a fun experiential activity. So there, sometimes you don't even have to try at all and you get unexpected surprises.
Daring: Showing up even if I was the only one.
Discovery: My job is to focus on the process, not the outcome.
I had 4 Magical Play Workshops that no one attended. It was just me, myself and I. The first one was a bit hard, I won't lie. And it made me not want to put as much effort into them if they weren't going to work out. But I recommitted myself to showing up fully and joyfully no matter what. Because that is my job. I can't control outcome or numbers, but I can do my work for the Lord. The first time no one showed up I had a dance party by myself and wrote a blog post. The second time I cleaned up and went home to sleep because I had just finished three days of my wholehearted course and was exhausted and thankful for rest. The third time I did the play activities by myself. If they ever watched the security cameras they would see me pounding away at some clay and yelling. That makes me happy. The fourth time I also played by doing a scribble drawing after doing the fun set-up I had planned for the participants of a joyful essential oil and a joyful breathing exercise. I felt pretty alive :)
To find out more of what made me feel alive in 2016, stay tuned for Part 6 next week!
In case you missed it:
Part 1 of 2016 Review
Part 2 of 2016 Review
Part 3 of 2016 Review
Part 4 of 2016 Review
And if you want to know more about why I'm doing an annual review and especially why I'm sharing it read my recent blog post about it thanks to Cynthia Morris.
Lee Ann Hilbrich, MA, LMFT, LPC, CDWF, RYT 200
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