Getting outside the comfort zone, and into the pit of bricks Week in Review: 1.22.16-1.28.16
Yes, that's me in the pit of bricks. Yes, all the other adults are sitting outside of the brick pit. Yes, it was a bit uncomfortable sitting on bricks. I almost didn't get in, I was thinking about it and almost said "nah," but a few kids suddenly left and a space a grown person could fit into opened up so I dove in.
I feel like this picture sums up the week. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by decisions, okay pretty much all the time. And this week I had to make lots of decisions regarding forms for my business. And I had to keep editing and keep tweaking and adding this and subtracting this and does that fit there? The process of creation seems to be all the same, creating out of chaos, out of infinite possibility, out of a pit of red bricks, and then making decisions and narrowing it down and adding and deciding to take away and adding more and at some point calling it done (maybe because a parent says it's time).
What I didn't experience this week was patience for the process. And wow, I just put something together. At BrickFest, which I almost didn't give myself permission to go to (check out some of my pictures here), I was at the mini mosaic table doing my creation for the day. A mom comes up to her child and asks what is taking them so long? The child is building this 3D maze type creation and has definitely spent some time on it and it looks really good. He tells her what he wants to do and she says okay, but again questions why it should take him so long. Then she proceeds to take over and tell him how to do it so it will get done faster. I didn't see the end, but I was totally judging that mom. I was thinking "Oh my goodness let him finish his creation his way." And what did I do this week? I told myself to get it done faster. I questioned myself as to why it was taking so long. I was totally parenting myself that way this week. Ouch.
Now, I am typing to you from what in the world of technology people would refer to as an ancient obsolete laptop (since it's almost 10 years old) because my computer literally gave me the gray screen of death (that is what I have named it), about 10 minutes before I would have completed the forms I had been creating all week. That's right. Now luckily, I have one version in an email, but that was who knows how many bricks added on and subtracted ago? So I am forced into patience. I hope I will handle this better than what I did when the forms weren't done when I had expected them to be done on Wednesday. If you have seen the LEGO Movie, let's just say that I became the red Unikitty. Yep.
So a few final thoughts. This whole creating with LEGO bricks, just like the business I am creating in real life, is an uncomfortable process. I feel like the tulips that inspired Day 23 - I'm on display for all to see as I am growing. And I know that it's messy and I will fall, just like anybody learning to do anything. But I also know that's not where my worth lies and that I will just try again. I have to remember who is in my support section. I have to take it one day at a time and go slow (Day 26 thoughts on instagram). I also have to remember to have fun and trust (Day 28 thoughts on instagram). Speaking of funny, I have to mention all the Janice Elsheimer quotes. I've started hashtagging her name on instagram (I think that hashtag had 3 posts before I started). She has been the author of 9 out of 28 quotes I have randomly pulled! I might have started hoping when I pull a quote it will be by someone else and then start laughing when I see her name. It's fitting though. I started a tradition of reading a chapter from an art/creativity book each Sunday and the first book (now on my third) I started with was The Creative Call, by who else, Janice Elsheimer. My artist friend gave the book to me and she also recently read it, and since she is the one who gave me all the quotes, so it makes sense so many would be in there. So maybe now when you notice a quote is by Janice Elsheimer it will make you smile too.
I hope you have a weekend full of creating - creating space to rest, creating meals to savor, creating time to play, creating art to enjoy, creating peace in your heart, creating stories with your pen, creating positive thoughts in your head, creating love with your life. And I especially hope that if you have a chance to jump into a pit of LEGO blocks you will take the opportunity, even if it might be a bit uncomfortable and you might feel awkward, so that you can create something unique and magical, and have some fun being like a child!
Lee Ann Hilbrich, MA, LMFT, LPC, CDWF, RYT 200
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